Saturday, March 17, 2007

PLEASE suggest something for me to OUT METAL my downstairs neighbor.

That is correct people.

The gloves are OFF. I mean, I should wear latex gloves if I am within 50 feet of my downstairs, off-the-lease, off-the-books downstairs neighbor. I like to call him The Anger Management Tour of the Dartmoor House. He blasts really bad Flo-Metal (Florida+Metal?) when he is crashing at home (all the time) while his harpy idiot teen mom girlfriend, Barbie, is out manning the front desk at the local Mariott.

One of the small pleasures in my life while living in this shoebox at Dartmoor House is to get home after my 45 minute commute from the bowels of South County Tampa and fling open the back doors to our porch to let the air flow through the house and check out the sunset and all our plants.

Before Barbie and her child and her manchild moved in (manchild moved in sometime in the last 2 weeks), this was an easy enough task. Now? Not so much. Because if Barbie and Anger Management aren't screaming at each other and coming to near blows, the guy has aforementioned NuMetal CRANKED. It sounds like it probably has cookie monster vocals, but all I can really hear is the "chuh-chug, chuh-chug" pattern folowed by the needlessly complicated guitar "melody"...for all I know this could be what Insane Clown Posee sounds like cos this guy reeks of Jugalo smell.

Question to you, dear reader (likely my husband, maybe my cat)...WHAT metal can I purchase STAT to "out metal" this dick? He needs to get got. And fast. I want it so loud, so complex, so BRUTAL that his metal withers and dries up with a quickness.

I am now relying on my Rick James "Come Get It!" only works for a minute.



  1. I think HE is blasting Deicide! I wish I knew...but alas, my metal-o-meter is not so sensitive.

  2. I think you should take the opposite approach...Don't go with something he'll like.

    Blast some Mariah or Celine, Michael Bolton---something that'll really get on his nerves. Of course you'll have to stomach it too for awhile.