Martha Quinn Returns.

When I was in 9th grade, following the top row of braces being removed from my teeth, following the back part of my brown, golden-flecked hair growing out into a nice wavy rug creating a gorgeous mullet before there was such a thing, before I was unceremoniously deflowered as my boyfriend's father watched a John Wayne movie in the next room as I worried every time the headboard banged against the wall, before I dated men who were uncircumcised and caught hell from other boys about this (Why? I still don't know. Uncircumcised penises can still reach orgasm)...I resembled a spritely, adorable original MTV VJ, Martha Quinn.

For the first time ever in West Memphis, Arkansas, I had a cool cultural touchstone. I took on cachet and had acceptance from cute, sexy boys who had heretofore ignored me and girls who pinched my cheeks in crude disbelief when I swore I wasn't wearing any makeup. "Yew look jes lak MARTHA QUINN!" "Yew oughta be ah VJ!!!!" Ah, popularity.
Martha returns. Saturday night August 25th.